I miss her, it's been forever since she died and yet i still have those days that i cry for her and that i miss the sound of her voice and the smell of her. dad always said that those memories would fade with time. maybe because of that i have clung to those things...i would like to think that i think of her most when i know that she is watching over me. but who knows?
everyone had told me she is in a better place. i beleive that i do, but sometimes it hurts so bad that she had to leave, that she missed out on so much. well i guess the truth is that we missed out on so much. i feel like she had so much more to give, more to be, more wisdom to pass on, more moments to be apart of. why is still the number one question and the one that will never be answered. when i think of her i see moments like this, dancing, singing, laughing. i try to make her proud...maybe one day i will understand it all maybe one day i will stop hoping that she could be there....maybe it won't feel like inspite of all the wonderful people who are apart of my life that something is missing.
many wonderful women have helped me in times when a girl needs her mom, and i could not love, thank, or respect them more. but in the end as much as i love them, no one fills that void no one can replace a mom. esspecially not one like mine. she wan't perfect, but she was close. so much so she earned her wings early!
i love you mommy! i still miss you!
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